The Candle Lighting service at a Bar\Bat Mitzvah is a great way for a young
man\lady to say thank you, and recognize those in his\her life who helped
them to achieve this milestone in their life.
Many families like the idea of saying thank you and offering recognition, but
are tired of candles, as they are so pervasive at Mitzvahs, and are looking
for alternatives to candles as a way of distinguishing their child and event
Here are some suggestions and options regarding candle lighting that will
allow you to do just that.
Variations on candles
While candles are the standard you can also use Flowers, Leaves,
Trees, Tony’s, Emmy’s, Academy Awards, Puzzle Pieces that
create a picture of son\daughter, or something to match
Rename the Academy Awards \ Oscars to be the Joshua’s or Rachel’s.
Fill in your son\daughter’s name here. Or have the leaves represent a
tree planted in Israel in the name of the person being honored.
If each candle takes 60 seconds \ 1 minute to – Announce, allow
recipient(s) to walk up, take a few pictures, and walk away, then
13 candles would take 13 minutes.
2-3 minutes each is more realistic. So add 30+ minutes to your
time line if you decide on a candle lighting service.
Adding visuals, pictures, and video to your candle lighting service
is a great way to keep your family and friends engaged in what
is now a very personal experience.
Your memorial candle can take on the emotional feel of the Oscar’s
Memoriam. Your family candles can include pictures from vacations
and special memories.
Guests unable to travel\attend can record a video message that would
play after the candle is lit, as a surprise for your son\daughter.
Just like your son\daughter will practice with the Rabbi for his\her
reading part in the service, so he\she should practice with cards
or a print out of what will be said for each candle.
Aunt Judy you are so much fun, please come light candle number one.
Uncle Irving and I love fishing. It is me and you for candle number two.
And so on.
This Dr Seuss style rhyming is a popular, but not necessary. The
message and sentiment are far more important. (In this blogger’s
As always ADJA members who specialize in Bar\Bat Mitzvahs can help you
make the most of your Candle Lighting and guest’s experience.